Thursday, November 18, 2004
I care too...
I care. I care very deeply about seeing a bigger busted Mari walking around half naked. I want Mari to have saline self-esteem. And I think Americans will agree with me that they would like the Norwegian eye-candy! And I think that terrorists hate us not only for our freedom but for the fact that we WANT Norwegian eye-candy!!!
I also care about Sex, Drugs and Rock 'N' Roll (I obsess over the triumvirate). But what is being glossed over is that EVERYBODY loves sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. Those "media professionals" trying to figure out what we like, well, they love sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, too. Perhaps this is why the trinity is the only thing they can figure out about us because it is the only thing they see we have in common. The difference is that we get sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll while they wish they could still get away with it (this is paraphrased from an actual Cronkite School Prof). Our elders think that the way to reach us is through the holy trinity because when they think back on their glory days, THAT is what they remember and miss the most. That's why you always hear them saying that things were better back when yadda, yadda, yadda... It WAS better because they were young, carefree and getting nooky while coked up at a Twisted Sister concert.
OK, maybe not EVERYBODY loves sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, but they still care about it. "Take our current situation with that _____-______ in" Afghanistan (Big Lebowski reference). Al-Qaeda cares about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, they just go to the polar opposite of seeing Janet Jackson's breast on national TV by tossing women in burlap sacks and cutting off the hands of opium addicts.
So, I propose we get Mari her phony fun-bags and we use her as our spokeswoman (because she will undoubtedly be a fantastic role model) as we pass out narcotics and CD's to our aged hipsters. I propose this because I care, I tell ya, I care. I care about sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll; I care about the freedom to choose chunky or creamy peanut butter, paper or plastic, and pulp or no-pulp; I care about lawnmower races on ESPN2; and most of all I care about my libido!!!
I also care about Sex, Drugs and Rock 'N' Roll (I obsess over the triumvirate). But what is being glossed over is that EVERYBODY loves sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. Those "media professionals" trying to figure out what we like, well, they love sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, too. Perhaps this is why the trinity is the only thing they can figure out about us because it is the only thing they see we have in common. The difference is that we get sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll while they wish they could still get away with it (this is paraphrased from an actual Cronkite School Prof). Our elders think that the way to reach us is through the holy trinity because when they think back on their glory days, THAT is what they remember and miss the most. That's why you always hear them saying that things were better back when yadda, yadda, yadda... It WAS better because they were young, carefree and getting nooky while coked up at a Twisted Sister concert.
OK, maybe not EVERYBODY loves sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, but they still care about it. "Take our current situation with that _____-______ in" Afghanistan (Big Lebowski reference). Al-Qaeda cares about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, they just go to the polar opposite of seeing Janet Jackson's breast on national TV by tossing women in burlap sacks and cutting off the hands of opium addicts.
So, I propose we get Mari her phony fun-bags and we use her as our spokeswoman (because she will undoubtedly be a fantastic role model) as we pass out narcotics and CD's to our aged hipsters. I propose this because I care, I tell ya, I care. I care about sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll; I care about the freedom to choose chunky or creamy peanut butter, paper or plastic, and pulp or no-pulp; I care about lawnmower races on ESPN2; and most of all I care about my libido!!!
